November 3, 2005
Middle Child Syndrome

Jill Brooks, INtake columnist

Birth order is fascinating. I grew up as a middle child, and for those of you “middle children” out there, you know what that means: time alone.

My parents did a great job of parenting even when they weren’t trying, but stereotypically middle children often get lost in the shuffle.

Known for seeking friendships, or anyone who will communicate, outside the family, we are usually the ones parents don’t worry about, the self-sufficient keepers of the peace.

In an article by Robert Needlman, MD., he says that “unlike first children, who often define success by their ability to meet their parents' expectations, middle children are more prone to rebel against the status quo.” That’s because no one is watching us.

I never intentionally rebelled against the status quo; I simply had my own ideas of how the world should work. My parents spent a lot of time allowing my siblings and I to figure out our own lives, and we thank them for that, but I have a few words of wisdom I might impart to a daughter, if ever I had one:

Stop thinking the lost match to your sock will reappear: it’s gone forever so move on with a new pair. Boyfriends generally work the same way.

Angrily speeding around someone will only get you to the red light faster (followed by “do as I say, not as I do”).

Love someone who mirrors your soul.

Buy clothes that fit the first day; don’t promise yourself you’ll lose weight, grow into them or get them hemmed, because they end up in a pile in the closet.

Drugs are for bored people; find another recreation.

Help make your family a good one.

Never mix your alcohol; if you do, B-12’s your cure.

Be smart when you’re handed a backstage pass and keep your head about you on the tour bus; if you’re my kid, it’ll be a given.

Eat a pack of sugar when you’re feeling bitter; it also works for hiccups.

Don’t let anyone criticize you for being an English major; the same goes for art.

New shoes really do make the world go ‘round.

The hungriest wolves often wear the prettiest wool; keep a cotton jacket in your car, just in case.

Never ask a dog to watch your plate of food.

One hour of television a day is forty-five minutes too many.

Realize the difference between extraordinary and extra ordinary: choose your life wisely.

And if you’re a middle child, speak up and smell the coffee.