May 26, 2005
Urban Legends
Jill Brooks, INtake columnist

My family breeds cynics. We like news, but it takes unequivocal proof to get us to believe it.

I’m not trying to be naïve, because I understand that bad people do exist; but I recently received strikingly similar emails from two girlfriends, warning with “documented proof” that men are climbing into the backseats of women’s cars at gas stations, only to attack them later. Making the cloned stories highly unfathomable was that one came from a friend in Indy, the other from San Francisco.

I appreciated the arbitrary caveat from the West Coast, especially since that friend and I haven’t spoken in over a year. There was no hello attached, no personal message of any kind, just the “forward”. Note to self: Watch out for said gas station, wherever it is, when next in California.

The Indy email clamored with portent. Although neglecting to mention vital information, such as the location of the gas station being fingered, it went as far as to suggest that skeptics (me) call a local realtor (the protagonist) and confirm her terrifying, run-for-your-life story. For about 12 seconds I considered calling her, but I thought, “What will I say? Hello, you don’t know me, but I’m calling to hear the lurid details of your recent attacked at the gas pump.” No way.

Familiar cynicism crept in and I began wondering who in their right mind would actually call this poor woman. How many hours would she be stuck divulging her tale to the curious masses? Would friendships arise from these lengthy confessionals? Are there gas-station-pump-attack support groups? Could she maybe help me find a house?

It’s not that I don’t believe these stories, and I agree that women should be careful. It’s just that through urban legend, it appears that some of these stories’ characters may very well be the same people who trust that Bill Gates will actually share his money with them. No matter how much a friend’s email begs me to do so, I refuse to call and confirm with those people, as well.

Still, I’ve been paying closer attention at the gas pump. While pumping gas last week, I kept close watch of my car doors. I surmised the only way a perpetrator could attack me post fill-up, he scratched and dented, would be to crawl under my car and wrap himself around my muffler until we were well out of sight, and completely stopped. If this ever happens, and I escape unscathed, I’ll post an email and we can chat.