February 23, 2006
Our first V-Day together

by Jill Brooks
INtake columnist

Everything represents a first in a new relationship, including the first date, the first kiss, the first time you…go grocery shopping together.

The first Valentine’s Day is very important because all efforts are illuminated and linger, maybe even dawdle, in your love interest’s thoughts for at least 5 or 6 more days -- a good return on your romantic investment.

I prefer an intimate evening at home cooking dinner and cuddling before a fire to going out and sharing energy with strangers in a restaurant. I like to cocoon, and I’m a pretty cheap date.

For this Valentine’s Day, Love Interest suspected that he’d be dining on something from my four-recipe repertoire, so he offered, “How about letting me cook dinner?”

My job was to pick up wine for the evening which, oddly, is the same task my family always gives me; I see a pattern here.

That cuts deep, Love Interest.

I went to Trader Joe’s, where they stack wine deep and, subsequently, sell it cheap.

The Saturday before V-Day the lines at Trader Joe’s were 7-8 people deep, full of other people sent there on wine duty.

I grabbed an empty shopping cart (you may want to try this some time) and immediately got into line on the far end, near the wine.

One by one I chose my selections, returning to my cart every few minutes to fill it and push my way forward to the cash register. Since I was stocking up on wine, all the other winos applauded my creativity.

Finally it was time to pay for my heap.

I watched the bottles fill a large, paper sack. The checkout guy didn’t break stride when I said, “Wait! I didn’t mean to grab the white Bordeaux – can you please put that one back for me?”

Each cash-wrap island at Trader Joe’s comes complete with a loud, brass bell, which they sound for price checks, spills, or women who change their mind about wine.

He crashed the bell and asked a co-worker to find the red Bordeaux for me instead: slightly less embarrassing than a price check on a feminine product, but still.

I said, “Please, don’t worry about it, the people behind me are going to hunt me down and break my arms and wine bottles in the parking lot…can we just leave it alone?”

But Trader Joe’s prides itself on good service; moments later I had my red Bordeaux and several sneering enemies.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I just love them.