It seems oxymoronic in scope, but I’ve been so assiduous of late that catching up with anyone, anything, seems like something buried deep in the past. I recall my friends...
Matt has been fly-fishing in Minnesota with his father for 4 days and I pick him up tonight. His absence left me the freedom to hang pictures where I saw fit, and to lift boxes I shouldn’t have been lifting.
My sister called last night and asked, “Is everything in its place? Does it look like you’ve lived there forever?” Duh.
My “service” nature has kept me up late every night for a week, making sure everything is perfect. I unpacked boxes of baby items we’ve received already, and as I stood in the baby’s room inventorying the display, surrealism enveloped me with the fact that we have toys in our house! We have baby spoons in the kitchen utensil drawer! We have a giant frog in the bathroom ready to scoop bath toys! I am slightly freaking out!
I juxtaposed childhood photos of Matt and me in the baby’s room and I almost cried. These hormones are ridiculous. Morphing ourselves together in my mind, I could almost see the details of the baby’s face. If this child doesn’t come out toehead blonde and deeply blue-eyed, I suppose I’ll have some explaining to do.
This morning is mine. I have a large cup of coffee and a stack of reading before me. I finally read the Kurt Vonnegut article in Nuvo (I’ve been moving it from perch to perch for weeks), written by an Indianapolis treasure himself, David Hoppe. I’ll spend a few minutes in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” and then it’s time to design a newsletter, write a grant, or redesign the website. Whatever it is I do.
Matt wants me to stay home and freelance once junior arrives. I’ve got the options coming in now, so I’m gearing up. But I’ve always worked, always taken care of myself (except that I’m one of the few lucky people I know who doesn’t have student loan debt, thank you grandfather). I can’t imagine staying home for three months, let alone…longer. Matt wants the child home with me. If it happens, I’ll need lots of projects to keep me occupied. I’m thinking about home schooling (until the child is faced with Algebra, then I’m out of there). I want to host a children’s book club. I want to practice letters, words and grammar all day long, like my mom did with me.
Matt and I watched the national spelling bee last week, and he said, “Jill, these kids are such geeks, yet I’d love it if my child were in something like this.” I said, “Honey, I kicked ass in spelling bees.”
I was a band geek and went to State competition too. God help us.
It’ll come to us in time, but tonight we’ll reunite; we’ll cook on the grill; we’ll talk to my belly and linger in love.
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