I hate Air Tran

I almost lost it this morning. We missed checking our bags in for our flight by 5 minutes, and they wouldn't let us on the plane. We could either leave our bags at the airport, or we could come home. And what's a ski trip without long underwear?

I was so freakin' organized, more than ready, up at 3AM, and we missed our flight!

I was not nice. Matt, of course, was calm and angelic. That trait does not exist in my family.

Long story short, Matt sweet-talked them in to giving us a full credit (seriously, their "customer service" was beyond repair; a woman next to us, who missed the check-in by 2 minutes, was bawling her eyes out), and we rebooked our flight on another airline...directly into Boise this time, a day later. Hahaha Air Tran.

The girl's name who was not giving us any help was Servina.

There are a few names in this world that don't make you seem smart, even if perhaps you are:

Servina, Angel, Destiny, Charlene ... and a couple 'others.

Servina is probably on her smoke break as I write this.

Sun Valley Idaho

We're leaving on a jet plane soon, won't be back till January 4th! I've mapped out all of the Hemingway haunts I want to catch in Ketchum, and I can't wait to ski again.

Matt and I are playing poker tonight, because we're gonna kick some serious ass in Idaho!

I'm doing laundry now, packing for all of us. Woman's work stuff. Argh.

I'm Not Kidding

I would find this all very creepy, if it weren't already so amusing.

Thank God I didn't wear a lamp shade

Matt's office party was last night and I was clearly over-served. On days like this, a live-in nanny would come in really handy.

We had a great evening, so much laughing, so nice getting out alone. Will Matt's mate find that piece of salmon we hid???

Matt let me confront the "demon" when we got home, too. It needed to be done; I took my power back.

Now, put it to rest.

Life Comes At Me Fast

Everything is fast these days.

Shower fast!

Work out before Sam notices that I'm not paying full attention to him.

No lunch, ever.

Email fast, if ever.

Eat dinner in 6 minutes while Sam is "working out with Daddy."

Drink 2 glasses of wine ... fast!

Fall asleep fast, need strength for tomorrow.

I'm worn out.

Bad Food

I was sick all night last night. Up at least 5 times with a stomach much like a going out of business sale: Everything must go! By the third time up, I was whimpering, "Matt...Matt," but he was sound asleep. By the fifth time, he did wake for a moment and ask, "Are you still sick???" He sleeps through everything.

I'm gearing up for a loaded plate tomorrow, though.

Happy Thanksgiving!

First Comes Love

Does having another baby mean 100% more work? The toys are already everywhere, so that part is done, but in considering a sibling for Sam, I have a lot to take into account. For instance, Sam is the happiest, most good-natured, great-sleeping baby ever. Number two could only, then, be the most rotten peasant child, constantly nagging me and trying to sell me Chicklets.

Like any other parent who’s had a second child, I worry that I could never love it equally to Sam. Sam is my guy, he’s my sweetie and true love. How could I possibly two-time him?

Then there’s the whole fat thing. I willed myself to get back into my size 4s this time around, but I’m sure after the second kid it would be entirely out of my hands.

And then there’s this little thing called education. Do we want our children going to the best private schools, or do we want to continue traveling at a frenetic pace?

As I sit here waiting for Sam to wake, I laugh at how only two years ago I was considering taking a job in Canada (writing for the You-Know-Who), because Matt was in need of getting his act together. We decided that we couldn’t live without each other; then came Sam, then came the baby carriage, then came marriage. I’ve always been a wee bit backwards.

And maybe, just maybe, don’t push me or buy me any more damn baby rattles, I’ll have another baby.

Job Search

I'm considering getting a job again, although Matt and I both agree that it's best to stay home with Sam as much and as long as possible. His nursery school once a week is good, but when I pick him up the teachers are always holding the "crying kids," a group with whom Sam doesn't associate. They are never reading stories or doing anything remotely educational; I think I may take him in and then watch through the window next time to see what really "goes down" on Toddler Alley.

I took Sam to the library yesterday for storytime, and he was the only kid who didn't want to listen to a story, wanted to run around and touch everything instead. He likes other kids, but he has no time for them. He's independent, not a joiner, on the move, and oh God he sounds just like me. I did discover, however, when chatting with other parents (something I really hate doing), that Sam was at least 5 months younger than most of them...but taller! This one woman's brat kept repeating, "No! No!" and I found out that she was 20-months. At first I thought she had decent diction for an apparent 9-month old (she was tiny), but "No" was all she spoke, and lots of it.

So, I guess I'm looking for a part-time job. Where? Every writer I know is looking for something to write. I was thinking about an interview I once had with Macmillan publishing for an editing position. They brought me in and interrogated me about my writing style and knowledge, kept passing me up and up and up the ladder to talk with more "important" people, kept telling me that getting a job in publishing would be an honor, because everyone is the best and the brightest (uh, maybe in NYC), and when I was sent to meet with the VP on the top floor, I sneaked to the elevator and pushed "send" to the first floor, and walked out to my car. I completely left them hanging and I laughed all the way home. I wonder if that guy is still sitting there waiting to meet me.

No, I cannot join. I can't be threatened into a position. I'm not easily hustled. If I wanted to be a hustler, I'd be a lawyer. ; )

Maybe there's an opening somewhere for a coffee/tea/almond/chocolate taster/photojournalist.

Back from the Bay

Boston was terrific. Beth and I spent a lot of money. Whoops.

We loved the city, and I took many pictures (Beth forgot to pack her camera!), but we kind of hated the people. It reminded me a lot of the people in Charlottesville, who would look at Jeff and ask, "You're from where??" Little did they know exactly where Jeff lived. They assumed everyone in Indiana lived in a pile of sticks.

The men of Boston seemed to like us just fine, but whenever we'd start-up a conversation, the girlfriends or wives would look at their significant others, like, "If you talk to them you will not be touching me for a month!" It was hilarious.

Bad fashion, too, also very reminiscent of UVA. Most women looked like they were wearing pajamas. I tried to take a photo of a guy's bulldog in Beacon Hill, because I wuv bulldogs, and he yelled at me. Seriously. He said, "Do not take a photo of my dog - we're kind of busy here!" His baby was crying in the stroller, and I so wanted to say, "Your dog doesn't look that busy..." I withheld.

The trip was awesome and I have a new travel partner! Matt took Sammy to California. We talked about 7 times a day. : )

Matt said the best thing anyone has ever said to me the other day: Everyone who meets you loves you, Jill, but especially me. My heart skips a beat.

The Bostonians

The Bostonians, a novel by Henry James, is perhaps not an up-to-date account of the city and its people, but I only got around to reading The Turn of the Screw (another, more famous, James novel) in college. I've done a lot of research for this trip; I swear, I could sit around and read the dictionary or any travel book with no intention of going there. But I usually do have an intention. I'm full of intentions. I remember the poetry man calling me from a phone booth in Edinburgh; I thought it was so romantic and told him, "I'm going there soon." I did. I love traveling more than anything.

But in studying Boston, I found that the Indianapolis high school, Crispus Attucks, is named after a young, black sailor who died instantly after being shot by British troops in the Boston Massacre. (I'm embarrassed -- I figured he was an athlete.)

This event, as we know, started a revolution.

I'm sure I sped past the Boston Massacre on my way to Vietnam in my history books, but "massacre" seemed tantamount to "genocide" in my mind: many, many victims. In fact, there were only five men killed in the Boston Massacre, and the British soldiers were--wow, shocking--all acquitted.

So I asked Beth how she feels about cemeteries. We're visiting the Granary Burial Ground, the final resting place of the 5 victims, plus other key Bostonians, such as John Hancock, Samuel Adams and Paul Revere.

Apparently, I am related to a famous Bostonian too: General John Endecott. In a nutshell, he was a Puritan beyond pure, governor of Massachusetts from 1641-1645, and started a war with the Pequot Indians. I think I'll keep this information to myself while in the area. Being family, I can understand the "starting a war" part, but the conservative, puritan part is a little out of my reach.

I live in a blue state!

It felt amazingly like a new dawn when I woke this morning. I stayed up late watching the results, and Indiana's still weren't in when I finally stopped crying from happiness, turned off CNN and went to bed. I felt ecstatic for black America.

A Republican friend of mine said that he hates handouts, that people should "just work hard" and everything would be ok in their life. It astounds me how some people still don't get it. My own grandfather, with a mere high school education, made a fortune in his lifetime, but this is a new lifetime, very difficult to pull that off anymore.

So if you hate handouts, social services and "freebies," don't ever call the police or fire department, 911. Those are services too.

I cannot wait to step foot on Harvard Yard next week. I want to stand where Obama studied so hard.

The Eve of an Election

I'm calm, although it's staggering how many feuds I've been in with Republican friends. I listen, they rant about Socialism, Communism and Terrorism; I'm quiet, and I say, "Let's talk about something else."

Some of my favorite people are Socialists. : )

I'm looking forward to going to Boston. I'm reading my tour book and circling every place I want to see. I'm embarrassed that I've never been to Boston because if its rich history, but I never really had a reason to go... What a great place to celebrate freedom from George W. Bush, no matter who wins tomorrow.

Boston, Boston. I wake up singing School House Rock songs!

The next place I'll research: Sun Valley, Idaho. I've already bought Sam his ski outfits.

Speechless

Matt's "Norma Desmond" sent him a link to over 100 photos of herself and new family. We were both like "Whaaaaaaa?" She'd be a laugh riot, if she wasn't five minutes away from being strapped to a gurney.

The Future Farmers of America were in town over the weekend, and a lot of them from California were on my plane coming home at 3AM from Houston. I saw the "Heather" of the group (I have no idea what her real name was). She was the cool future farmer, the boss of her pack, at the top of the pecking order in her small town. On her blue wool jacket was embroidered, "Historian" and "Treasurer." She was very important. I had to laugh because I've known some girls like that.

The Spooky Spider

Sam's first Halloween party.

Seattle

Matt and I just returned from our jaunt to Seattle. Poor guy was stuck in class a lot, while I sucked oysters down and drank local wine with local folks. Over the years, and through my travels (to Grandmother's house we go), I've become fond of going into a bar alone and finding my new best friend for a few hours. This time, it was a woman named D'Anna, a local bartender who drank with me one entire afternoon. She'd been married several times, several kids with different men, and her latest ex is in prison for almost beating her to death. She was very cool, a strong woman, drank cheap sherry. I love people.

Matt and I had a great time together. A fresh city view and a swanky hotel room always make our hearts pound a little faster. Traveling together is fantastic, and I learn more about Matt everyday. Life is so great.

I sought out fine dining while he learned (played Solitaire) new law tricks during daylight hours. I walked the entire city several times, and my calves are killing me! But it was worth it: I have a keen eye for fancy restaurants. I had the best Bouillabaisse ever.

We missed Sam, oh how we missed Sam. My mom flew up from Florida to stay with him, and he was fine, but still...the miss. I also missed my connection coming home because of bad weather in Houston, and I started crying on the plane. Yes, crying. Matt and I took separate planes ... for the obvious "keep one parent alive" reason, and my plane got home about 7 hours later than his. My heart was broken thinking, "In three hours I'll be holding Sam!" and then sitting at the airport (bar) for many, many more hours. I wanted that little boy in my arms.

I think Matt and I text-messaged over 75 times. Matt's last text: I'm home, Sam is fine, I'll wait on the couch until you are here with us. " I've seriously got two great guys.

I know, I know...

Not all babies are cute. I mean, obviously.

But Sam sure is. I almost wrecked my car today watching him in my rearview mirror. Ahhhhhh.

Matt and I are expecting buckets of rain in Seattle. Good! I love the rain.

Sam's New Tent

I think Sam will be incredibly creative (hopefully), and lately I'm afraid that the first book he writes may be titled: Mom never sterilized my bottles.

His follow-up book will be called: Mom used the wrong amount of Tylenol when I had a fever, therefore negating any relief.

Of course, the appropriate words will be capitalized.

Sam currently has a double ear ache, which makes me wonder exactly what is a double pneumonia? Both lungs? Two colds? Twice baked potatoes?

He's wasting away. He's only on the 75th percentile for weight now, 85th for height. I'm worried.

He sure likes his new tent, though.

End of Birthday Week

I just took a run at Butler, past the Persephone (Queen of the Underworld) fountain, past the turtles swimming in the canal, past the elderly Asian women fishing in the canal. Eek!

We had a great birthday party yesterday for Sam ... and me. I planned everything down to the most minute detail, and still had fun!

Matt got me great seats to Ryan Adams, so I am definitely looking forward to that date. It was a great birthday; Sam ate his cake and his birthday hat!

Sam received WAY too many presents, but he sure doesn't mind.

I love birthdays because everyone you once knew comes out of the woodwork. I have so many fantastic friends, and I appreciate them so much.

Painting I bought at Penrod

No Foot Fetish

I blew up a bunch of balloons today and hung them in the dining room. I was practicing. Matt said, "Those will be limp by mid-week." If they are, I'll blow up fresh ones before he gets home, because I cannot lose at balloons. (If Matt reads this I guess that plan is blown to hell).

Sam loved the balloons and we've been talking "birthday" a lot. It's a week-long celebration.

I ran today in the rain/wind combo, tree limbs falling at my feet. Cool! I stopped at the corner grocery, where they stack everything a la Sleeping With The Enemy. It's perfect, not one single can out of order. I could take a nap in one of their aisles.

My right foot is killing me because of running hills. I've been making Matt push it and stretch it. The first time he did it, he washed his hands afterward. Tonight, he said, "Are we doing your foot thing tonight? I'm over here mentally preparing for it."

Hilarious.

Back to the Books

I've been reading a lot, again. I finished Loving Frank, about the torrid affair between Frank Lloyd Wright and Mamah Borthwick Cheney. So good (and it was) that I had nightmares for two nights afterward. The "surprise ending" was quite a surprise, indeed.

Right now (and with this I mean 2 minutes ago), I'm reading Eat Pray Love, which is apparently written by my soul-sister, except she has no fear and she's published 3 books and used to write for GQ.

Do I have fear, or am I just too busy (and with this I mean too lazy)?

Sam was sick all week, including fever. Karis is dead meat. I witnessed E.B. biting Sam right in front of me too. E. B. will not be around long. I took Sam back to school Friday and he did great. Karis still had a runny nose, so I made sure to say loudly, "Oh, look, Karis, you still have a runny nose." The teacher said, "Oh, I heard that Sam was sick...I'm so sorry." Yeah, whatever.

When I picked Sam up, he smiled at me and ran (and with this I mean ran) across the room to a little sink in the wall. He looked at me, putting his hands into the sink with no running water, showing me his new skill. Hand washing. That's great, sweetie (heart beats faster because I'm so in love).

He'll be one this week, and I'll be 29 again. That is so weird. I was almost too young to have a kid.
I have his birthday party planned from start to finish. I'm actually taking a night off with my girlfriends the night before and heading to Lake Monroe, near Bloomington, for some wine and conversation. My friends are all readers, and they love wine. Can't beat it with a stick.

Matt is chatting with his best friend Christian in California right now. Christian's father and I have a mutual crush on one another. He owned a French restaurant in Orange County, and I'm the only woman among Matt's friends who could talk some smack with him (with this, I mean French cuisine). ; )

Breaking out the Nikon

We went to Penrod this weekend with Matt's folks. Saw lots of good art, lots of interesting people. I bought a new painting...it's so gorgeous and I pick it up this week. Took lots of good photos, too.

Great weekend with the in-laws, and my brother Jason came in 309 (out of over 2,000) in the Ironman triathlon in Madison, WI today. Our family tracked him online all day! : )

Sam is sick for the first time! He started school Friday at the church down the street, and this little snot-nosed girl, Karis, breathed on him. I'm so pissed. I whispered to Karis when I met her: Hi. I'm keeping my eye on you. Matt said he has his eye on "E.B."

Parenting is a blast!

The Gardening Set

Today, after Sam's meet-n-greet at his new school (Fridays only), I bought him a gardening set for $1 at CVS. I showed Matt tonight and he said, "Jill, the boy already has a vacuum, and now a gardening set; we're starting him off on the wrong foot, wouldn't you say?"

Laughter.

New SLR

I bought a sweet new camera this weekend - a Nikon D-60. I know, I know, I spoil myself.

Matt was walking down our wee side street this weekend with Sam. He stopped and bought chocolate somewhere, and shared with Samuel. He said that he kept seeing Sam's little arm coming up, out of the stroller, wanting more pieces.

Mmm, mmm, love.

I've kept a journal of pretty much every major life-moment in Sam's first year. I'm so bloody organized.

I ran this morning before Sam (and Matt, ahem) got up. I love running in the early pre-autumn mornings, when the wind is cool and the leaves are heavy with dew. Our neighborhood is full of hills, too, which is a bonus.

The Wit

My dad visited my grandmother in the nursing home last weekend, and apologized for not having stopped at the bank before he got there. Their conversation:

Dad: Mom, take this $10 - I forgot to stop and get you more cash.

Grandmother: No, no, I'm not taking your money, sweetie.

Dad: Please, take it; it's no big deal.

Grandmother: No, honey, I don't even need money here.

Dad: Please take it.

Grandmother: Oh, all right. Next time don't forget to stop at the bank first.

Cuddling Protest

I'm still a little high on Obama's acceptance speech as the Democratic candidate last night, and I'm looking forward to casting my vote November 4. I want to get involved this time - I have some extra hours here and there to make phone calls, whatever he needs. Like many people, I'm surprised by John McCain's choice for VP. I suppose since I'm a woman I'm supposed to want to vote for her, especially since she kept a special-needs child and all. You know what? So what. I would have kept it too, and that doesn't make me eligible for the presidency. I think McCain is grasping, so let him grasp. Plus, she's more right-wing than McCain and she hunts: yuck!

As an aside, have you ever noticed how the bad guys in movies are always blonde (i.e. all 007 movies and the Karate Kid)? That pisses me off. Sam is the sweetest and I hope he gets cast as the lead.

Sam is listening to "This is the sound the rooster makes...." (etc.) behind me. I wonder why I spend so little time writing these days.

I gossiped with Matt's mom today ... we love to laugh at certain things. She's funny, I like her a lot. Matt is like his mom.

She and I are going to venture out and see Hemingway's grave in Ketchum, Idaho while we're there. I want to see all of the historical spots, ski a bit, sit by warm fires. I'm really looking forward to it, and suspect that I won't want to leave.

Matt is a cuddler and I am not. This problem reoccurs nightly as I'm saying, "Get off," and he's moving in for the kill. Last night he was hugging me (I think I was actually about to suffocate), and I tried to move his leg. He said, "Don't try anything stupid." I laughed so hard that the suffocation ceased, and I let him linger a few more minutes. I love to cuddle while watching a movie (Ok, I'm sort of lying; even then, I don't really like it), but certainly not when I'm trying to fall asleep. It's hot. It's late. Get off of me. Period.

With that, goodnight.

Free Form

I always have so much to say, but by the time I've wiped Sam's face for the last time of the day, I've forgotten most. I'm reading the book, "Loving Frank," about the affair between Frank Lloyd Wright and his love-of-life. I read one or two chapters a night, just enough to feel like I'm staying within the literary realm, but the book is touching, and sometimes I have to put it down and sigh.

I couldn't be happier that the Olympics are over. I wonder if they were so crooked in the beginning.

I was wondering today why there are still towns called "Lynchburg" in America. I can only imagine the freed slaves looking for a new place to live, saying, "Honey, according to this brochure, I don't think we should move here..."

Matt and I are preparing for Sam's first birthday (go Virgo, go Virgo), and we're looking forward to a trip by ourselves to Seattle in October, then Sun Valley Idaho for New Years. I've heard so many stories about Sun Valley (the skiiing, the hiking, the fights), and I can't wait to see it. We're flying home from Vegas and will have Sam one night there - that should be a hoot. Vegas is definitely not on the top of my travel list, but I'm actually looking forward to taking some candid photos. I've never seen it, never wanted to see it, but it'll be entertaining at the least.

We took Sam to see his great-grandmother Brooks today...that happy little grandma Santa Claus. She has the best outlook of anyone I know, and I sometimes question if she's really, possibly, in my family.

Sam is going to see Dede tomorrow, and I know he loves those special days. I've been having nightmares about him going to school; it starts in less than 2 weeks. I'm terrified. I want to come up with an excuse to keep him home. He needs his mommy. I need my Sammy. Whaaaaaaa! Seriously, I've been waking up from these horrible dreams that someone is a). plotting his death; 2). running away with him; or 3). has locked him in a closet with no bottle.

Beth took Finn to kindergarten last week, and she said that his last words were, "Mommy, I'm scared." She cried all day.

I think I may cancel nursery school.

Matt is the most wonderful, patient man I ever could have met, and I want it to be known that I don't really deserve him, but he's mine. Thank God!

Photographer in the making

Sam had his first professional photo shoot and I've decided that it's nothing I can't do myself. So, this week, or maybe next, when I have some free time, I'm buying a new SLR camera. A really nice one.

I've already checked in to buying lights and backdrops too. Not cheap. But the girl who took Sam's pics took several outside with the sun in his eyes, while he squinted, and I kept saying, "Uh, excuse me, don't ya think...I mean maybe...I mean, don't ya think?" Sheez.

I told Matt's mom today that Sam is really funny and she said, without hesitation, "Oh, he gets that from Matt!" That seemed really funny to me.

These words came out of Matt's mouth once: Jill, can you pick up Sam's toys in the kitchen so that I can cook?

Yes, he is lucky to be alive.

But I woke up this morning, and the first thing I thought was, "Man, am I glad I married this guy." He's incredible.

Sam is incredible too, and I think about him 98.5 % of my days!

And the biggest joke of the day: tonight we're going to something actually named "Sausage Fest."

A small prayer...

Please God, please don't ever make me watch synchronized swimming again.

White Expo

We took Sam to the State Fair last night. Once again, and I have no idea how this keeps happening: there were no horses there. There were donkeys and mules and, sure, Sam thought they sounded pretty good, but I was dying to show him Percherons.

We ate Italian sausages, funnel cakes and elephant ears, saw the world's biggest pigs and some cows, a group of geeky girls clogging to Irish music, and we left.

It was magical.

TV Days

Fatal Attraction is on in the background and I just told Sam to never date a woman named "Glenn."

I'm happy today, wonderfully happy. Happy that I have the parents I have (Debbie is a parent); happy that I have the best husband and child; happy about my family in general; happy that I can walk to the grocery; happy that I had lunch with my besty pal Eric.

My sister-in-law (sister, really), Beth, took Liam to see Dave Matthews this weekend. I hear that Liam was the superstar of the crowd. Finn, at the same time, was apparently sleeping at my dad's house with handcuffs on his ankles. Both: characters. I can't wait for Sam to do crazy things, to stand on his seat and watch a rock concert. The Brooks genes are strong genes when it comes to music.

Saw Kevin today, like I knew I would: veggie delight at Illinois Street.
I stopped buying plastic packaging. Influence.

Sam is taking steps, my hero. My little cute guy. I just turned to smile at him and he had a play grocery basket in his mouth.

LOVE!!

Now he's pulling on my shirt.

LOVE!!!!!!!

Uh-oh, rabbit cooking in the pot...must turn channel.

Parenting

...is difficult sometimes.

A few times I've wanted to scream, "For God's sake eat your fruit medley!"

But instead I smile, maybe giggle, tickle his toes and say, "Come on Sammy, airplane's comin' in for a landing..."

We went to the waterpark with Autie & Uncle Beth & Jason, Angie, cousins Eva, Liam & Finn today. Sam wasn't afraid of anything, water straight up the nose. He's so cool.

Beth and Liam are at Dave Matthews right now. When exactly did I slip into oblivion?

Matt is afraid to die...

Still, I tell him that it wouldn't kill him to wash a pan or clean Sam's bottles from time to time.

I'm so funny.

Daisies and Such

One thing I don't miss by staying home with Sam is office politics, office luncheons and, overall, offices.

Sam will be 10-months-old tomorrow and we'll celebrate at my, er, his favorite place, the Flying Cupcake. With those prices they'd better fly!

He took 2 steps on his own early this week, followed each day by at least one step. I'm trying to remember that song about putting one foot in front of the other...and soon he'll be walking out the door. I don't want that, but I'll love when he can walk because I won't have to CARRY him all the time. Oh, my little chunk.

I signed him up for school today, which begins September 4. It was fun filling out the paperwork - kids have so much paperwork! He's only going on Fridays, but it seems like such a big deal. My goal is to stay home and nap; I mean write. Yeah, yeah, write. So hard to do.

I keep stealing flowers out of the neighbors' yard because they're on vacation. : ) They have more than they can handle...

Daddy-o's birthday

Sam and I met my dad and Deb for lunch at the Illinois Street Food Emporium for my dad's birthday. We ran into my old beau Kevin, who joined us for a while, and seemed horrified that I was feeding Sam from a plastic container. I also tried to hide the bacon on my plate. : )

Sam is very sweet on my stepmom, Deb. She got up for a refill and he cried. I said, "Um, Sam, Mommy's here..."

But he's at my feet right now wondering why I'm not giving him total attention. Yea, he's still sweet on me too. Shew.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

The Deal

Last year I was preggo on the 4th of July, and Matt made me wear 2 thick blankets so as not to frighten "the baby." This year we had a little fireworks display for Sam in the backyard. He looked at us like, "This is very irregular, Mom and Dad." He wasn't afraid, though. Braveheart.

Sam is about to walk, holding his stance for several seconds at a time. Life is over for me now...!

Oh, but he's so ADORABLE, especially when he screams.

I told Matt that if he quits smoking I'll have another baby: he does something hard and I do something hard. ; )

Just don't know what to do with myself...

Debbie and Dad have Sam all day. I'm freaking out. I'm free!

Of course I've already spent a good deal of the day cleaning the house and worrying about the replacement of Tim Russert. Please God, not Matt Lauer. I cannot stand Matt Lauer (nothing personal).

Our new place is coming along nicely. I finally spent the money burning a hole in my pocket and bought us a new desk - it's gorgeous, and huge. I mean, really huge. And because we have to keep cords under lock and key, and out of the way of Sam, I'm literally stretching my arms to type.

The walls here are made of plaster (1920s), and trust me, you don't want to see my handywork behind the art hanging. I've practically had to superglue things to the walls.

I joined Facebook and that was big news in the Quad household. "Jill is on Facebook! No way!" It's fun to keep up with and an eye on them.

Matt gets home tomorrow night. Absence is good - I miss him like mad. He always sends romantic emails, which helps. He's such a great guy.

Sammy is 9-months-old. We celebrated yesterday with some fudge that Matt's parents brought.

Think I'll go for a run now. ; )

Hive of WASPs

Hubby is in Denmark...where we may all be soon. More to come...

We've had our families in town for two weeks (whew); Matt and I went to Zoobilation on Friday (prior night-out photo included), our favorite date night all year. My favorite sighting: Faith and KC. Love those cool cats.

Matt flew to Europe yestereve, and Sam and I both took a 2 hour nap today. Entertaining grandparents is such hard work.

I ran into two old boyfriends this morning at Starbucks, the Scotsman (good guy), and the asshole (one of the many). Thank God for Matt. Matt called from Denmark and I will join him there soon. Mmm. Sam talked to him: Da da da da da da da da da! His words, verbatim. : )

Baby Transport

Writing seems to be a thing of the past; as is reading a book or straightening my hair. Sam is everywhere all at the same time, and I spend most of my day saying, "Don't touch that" while lifting him to safety. I figure I pick him up about 113 times a day.

We moved to the Meridian Kessler area. I walk everywhere now...love it!


My mom and her new hubby are here this week (call me, I'll fill you in). He's very nice, even if he is from near Roanoke, VA. ; ) He calls me sweetie and sugar.



Sam's definitely hit his mama's boy stage. I can't be out of sight at all, or he cries. It's kinda cute, and kinda annoying as hell.



I share every minute and every meal with him; it's great watching him learn. He'll be 9-months next week...unbelievable.



Matt and I are having a date tonight (Ambrosia, our favorite)! We do find many moments alone, and Sam is giddy when he sees us kiss. It's all very sweet.

Don't look away

Last night as I was watching Obama make his acceptance speech, goosebumps on my skin, Sam sitting next to me, he managed to put the hook of a plastic hanger down his throat. It took 5 seconds. He was screaming. It was my first time feeling like a horrible mother, after all of those other times. He's 8-months-old, weighs 22.6 pounds and is pulling himself up on any available piece of furniture.

Today, he and I walked down to the 56th and Illinois Street shops in our new 'hood, and shared a stawberry Gelato at the Flying Cupcake. I felt like a good mom then.

Obama

I believe in things again...

YEA!

Can't wait to cast my vote in November.

What, write?

Here bloggy, bloggy, bloggy...

I almost forgot about you. We're moving this weekend into a new casa just down the street from a liquor store! (56th and Illinois). My back is broken from packing/moving boxes, and it seems to be affecting my typing skills as well. (Or is that the wine?)

Matt and I had a date tonight....met for drinks and dinner downtown. Wow, it felt like a date from times gone by: sweet.

Enter tumbleweed.

Sam is crawling, talking (mama, dada, baba), weighs 22 lbs and is so adorable! I miss him every night when he sleeps. Now that is love.

A black woman went crazy for Sam today at Trader Joe's, yelling, "He's perfect! He's flawless!" I whispered in Sam's ear, "She's a crazy person, don't worry." He smiled pretty for her. I don't get caught up in flawlessness, never have; I concentrate on songs and hugs.

False Advertising

The photo on the First Years child gate box, the one of the child happily smiling, peering through the gate while his mother is in the next room working, is highly deceptive and, for that matter, complete bunk.

As is evidenced while Sam lies on the other side of our First Years gate screaming bloody murder (perhaps practicing Lizzy Borden's ritual in the mirror when I'm not looking?) because my attention has been divided.

Alas.

I'm about to launch some "Mommy articles" and this is the beginning of the first. Hats off to me, my aching back, the number of Aleve I take each day and the fact that Sam let's me run with him in the rain. He's so cool.

Happy Mother's Day

My boys got up and greeted me on my first Mother's Day. Sam got me a very sweet card, and Matt took us all to brunch at Maggiano's, where, for $32 per person, you had a 6 course meal. It was ridiculously American in Little Italy, and we brought home 9 containers of food. Service was awful, and our little bus girl didn't speak a word of English. She came by after we'd been eating for about 4 minutes and said, "Take this away?" Matt replied, "In a few minutes..." She started picking our plates up and staggering them up her arm, because she had no idea what "in a few minutes meant," and Matt continued, "Or, now..."

I laughed so hard I cried. I felt badly because I think she knew I was laughing, but it was too funny to leave the laugh out.

I love my boys so much, and it's been a great Mother's Day; I just woke from a nap, and I may take another one later...

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers.

Portnoy's Desire

We're moving again, to a GREAT house! I found this poem that Jeff wrote to me in high school, tucked away in a box. It's a variation of the book Portnoy's Complaint, by Philip Roth, and it still warms me to read...so sweet. And I am a complete pack rat.

Allow me to introduce myself
I'm Alexander Portnoy.
I'm every Jewish mother's dream
The proverbial "nice Jewish boy."

"Stay avay from dem shikses!"
Uncle Hymie used to say
As he gnashed on Grandma's creplach
In the old country way.

Mother and Father prefer I bring home
A "vitz" a "berg" or a "stein"
But my fancies have wandered of late
To a certain Joyce Balentine. ...(Jill Brooks) : )

Mother whines and rants and raves,
"A goy will never do!"
Father seems to understand
For he was once young, too.

What is in store for me in life?
What is my destiny?
Not a Catholic, not a Jew,
But this W-A-S-P.

It's hard to decide what I like best
Of this blue-eyed blushing rose;
Her pearly pink skin, her straight golden hair?
Or her flawless, bumpless nose?

Is she merely an image?
For she's just too good to be
Alas, with one marvelous touch
I feel reality.

And with her smile my heart burns bright
With an unquenchable fire
For this goy, this shikse girl,
My Blondie, my desire.

Jeff Grosfeld

Hands and Knees

I was tuning my banjo this morning, and Sam passed by my feet on all fours. He's mastered the mechanics of crawling; not bad for 7 months!

God, I just realized how much of a hillbilly I sounded like in that sentence. ; )

Two Points

That's how much Hillary was ahead in Indiana, and those Republican votes I knew were coming from Indy didn't matter. Shame on you D & D!

Go Barack! I didn't get a wink of sleep last night dreaming about you. ; )

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning, Matt and I are going to the Broad Ripple Park Family Center with our 7-month-old boy and voting for Barack Obama. I feel such honor that it's coming down to my home state.

I heard Karl Rove bashing Obama, based on what Reverend Wright said about him.

Rove: the man who has created 5 million refugees and 1 million widows in Iraq speaks of democracy.

Will Sam someday be drafted?

I would laugh if I wasn't about to cry.

I believe in you, Obama. I have hope for our country and our children.

The Daily Recorder

My dad and stepmom have been reminding me for years that there's a lot of my junk in their garage attic. I've mulled it over, and decided it's time to sort through.

This week I found my old dolls: Jenny, Teddy, Raggedy Ann & Andy, a clown that my 7th-grade boyfriend Eric gave me, my journals circa 7th-12th grade and a recorder.

I gave the recorder to Sam saying: This comes into "play" around 5th grade...and you'll be prepared.

All of the stuff is still in my backseat. Tonight, while Matt and I were driving Sammy around in my car, Sam started his famous 7:00 p.m. meltdown. I reached in the backseat and produced the recorder that soothed him for 5 miles.

The C scale; Mary Had a Little Lamb; Oscar Peterson.

Oh, I blew well.

Sam quieted.

Matt said, "Holy Shit, that awful sound worked!" and I replied, "Of course it did, and I think I'll leave it in my car for such emergencies."

Matt said that he couldn't wait to see people mouthing, "Is that an actual recorder that woman is playing????"

Bisphenol A and Hillary

Like I don't have enough to worry about.

Five baby bottle brands were tested and found to contain Bisphenol A: Avent, Dr. Brown’s, Evenflo, Gerber, and Playtex. All five bottle brands leached Bisphenol A at levels found to cause harm in numerous laboratory animal studies, and scientists have linked very low doses of Bisphenol A exposure to cancers, impaired immune function, early onset of puberty, obesity, diabetes, and hyperactivity, among other problems.

So, I'm on my way to Babies R Us for new bottles.

Also, 2 Republican friends of mine are voting for Hillary (once "Billary", but as Beth pointed out, now "HillBilly") because they think she doesn't stand a chance against McCain. I think all states should mandate that people can only vote in the Primary for the party for which they've already registered. I mean, where's the integrity?

What will be funny, however, is when Hillary, who seems to have constant and nagging PMS, wins the election and runs our country.

I have a crush on Jon Stewart, by the way. : )

Itsy Bitsy

I killed a spider today with my bare hands; not because I wanted to, but because he was crawling on the back of Sam's highchair. Some seriously sinister (alliteration!) thoughts and actions come over you once you have a child.

I've wanted to poison both of Sam's pediatricians (I got rid of the first one; I want to overthrow the second, but am afraid I may gain a reputation). When they so stoically send the nurse in to administer shots into my child's legs, yeah, I'm thinking of murder.

Jesus, if one ends up getting poisoned, they'll trace back to this blog.

Ped2, that's "pediatrician #2" and I had the big talk about the MMR shot at 18 months, and the possibility of autism being triggered. She said, "Oh, it's been proven that the MMR doesn't cause autism, but parents won't let it go."

Uh, hello. Have you read the news?

Murder.

I told her that we're waiting, that we'll wait until the very last second before Sam attends school, and that after that I'll home-school if there isn't enough information out there to satisfy me. She sat quietly, looking at her notes.

Sam got his "Dip-Tet" last week, and I was saying the line from Raising Arizona over and over in my head, "HI, he's gotta get his Dip Tet - have we done that, honey??" while he got it. He's getting more brave about shots, but we both think: murder.

I'm just being a mom, I suppose.

Anyway, I felt bad about the spider; my fingers just formed into the shape of a "flick," and that was that.

Murder.

Back in Indy

We just returned from sunny California, with its soft brown hills and tigerlilly thrills...

I completely forgot to mention Matt's high school friend's wedding last Saturday night. His friend Ramon, who's Mexican, married a gringo. The wedding was in a beautiful part of San Pedro. I was in a bit of culture shock, but I spent the evening talking to Matt's best friend's wife, Sheila, a (like, totally) blonde California girl, and two other women, one from Mexico, the other Chile. We were logging one another's email address and phone number by the end of the night. Sheila was cool. She said, "Finally, a girl that we can actually "see" Matt being with!"

I love those kudos.

Sam got to know his other grandparents, and Matt's parents were tearful when we left today...bittersweet. Matt and I, once again, are one the "we're moving to Cali" trail. I hate winter, but can't imagine saying goodbye to my family...but I feel a pull from the West Coast, always have. After all, I was conceived in Santa Monica. : )

Anyhoo, Matt and I went to Disneyland again, and this time I met Mary Poppins. Life could end today and I would now have accomplished all that I wanted. Mary winked at me and I could have died happy.

We took Sammy to Laguna...he's a born surfer, I can tell. We dipped his toesies in the water and filmed him laughing. Ahh, my boy.

I did a very funny thing. There is one photo left in Matt's parents house with Matt's ex in it. I don't mind it being there, because in it she has big permed hair, but today, before we left, I drew in a mustache and beard on her face with thick, black, liquid eyeliner (in her honor). I really am a wit.

Hee hee hee ...

Hollywood, Disneyland, Wine Country, lemon trees. I love California.

I love Matt and Sam more.

California Stars

Matt and I are in Orange County, CA visiting his family. We took a little solo journey up the coast to the Santa Barbara wine country, stopping at the Getty Villa on the way. We did the "Sideways Tour" in Buellton, staying at the famous Windmill Inn, and hit almost every winery from the movie. We were drunk for 3 days straight and had a blast.

We stayed at Charlie Chaplin's hotel, the Montecito Inn, hung out in Santa Barbara (where we swear we're moving) and tomorrow...Disneyland!

Sam's top front teeth are in and he looks like a baby walrus. We missed him so much and it's great having him right here smiling at me. : )

Photos soon.

Music for Friends

I grouped some tunes:

http://www.playlist.com/user/22116217

Tres Cool

An editor found this photo of mine while out on a Google search and wrote to me, asking if she could buy it for use in a magazine. How cool is that?

I'm sure she'll Photoshop-out the verbiage, and me, but hey, I sold a photo. I suppose that makes me an official photojournalist.

It's going to be in an interior design magazine called Boutique Design.

I must write the Hip and tell them! They'll probably have their attorneys contact me for a cut (no, they would never do that; and should I tell Dave G...because he took the photo). ; )

Sammy Jump Up

Sam was bouncing the hell out of his Johnny Jump Up tonight. He loves that thing, the feeling of movement, the freedom of flight. I said, "Oh, sweetie, it's the beginning of your career in the ballet..."

(Await reply)

Matt's reply: Do you realize just how difficult that will be for you to do while I'm still alive?

hehehehehe

Eternal Sunshine

Sam and I took a walk this beautiful, sunny afternoon. We walk our neighborhood often, and give nods and kudos to fellow Chicco baby strollers. We spied a few teenaged girls wearing long, floral skirts and ethereal smiles, their hair pinned up in buns, walking from house to house holding large notepads and ... a shoe box? (traveling collection plate?) Huh? I surmised that they were up to Jesus business. I love God, and on a day like today, greatly. Sunshine makes you aware of his power. But these smiling teens were walking towards us with their #2 pencils and intentions, and I thought, "Don't you touch my son. Keep those frumpy frocks away from us."

They were obviously happy, enjoying the day as well, but I didn't want to be "signed up" for God. I've known people captured by the cult of so-called "Christ," trapped in a long prairie skirt, with parents who wouldn't allow them to befriend outsiders. My best friend in 6th grade was a Jehovah's Witness. Her parents invited me to church a few times (I was what...10?) and then "invited" me to become a member. I told them that I belonged to my own church, with my parents, and that my father might not appreciate me wandering from the flock. They were pissed. They hadn't done the math right, and were coming up short of a few souls they were responsible for getting into heaven.

I remember being involved in a 30 minute prayer at my final Jehovah episode. My friend and I, and I'm sure many others, were falling asleep. As the "pastor" (or whatever he was called) passed the bread, I passed my friend a little note that said this: Dark bread, yuck.

I have this knack for making people laugh uncontrollably in church.

This was the beginning of the end of my friendship with Kelly. And we'd had all those great nights rollerskating beforehand...

My dad's church, technically speaking, loves a good revival, but they allow you to make your own way. I like that. Having a son makes me awake and aware of so much more. The deep end of the ocean. But don't shove it down my throat: I choke so easily.

Sam and I have been watching The Great Escape on TCM tonight. I said: Son, when is the last time you watched a good POW movie with your mother?

He burped.

Recess

There's so much going on; most importantly, Sam's nap. I find myself tip-toeing around the house during this hour/hour-and-a-half; every noise I make deserves a curse of onomatopoeia with an added dash of inflection. I hit my wedding ring against the glass table: bugger! I creak the hardwood floor: zeek! Let that baby sleep.

Darryn told me the funniest story today... He has an actual 1984 license plate on his 1984 Mercedes. There's a new law allowing antique cars (anything over 25-years-old) to carry plates from the year they were made. Darryn got pulled over his first week out. The policeman didn't know about the law and said, "Your plate's expired." Darryn replied, "Do you really think I'd be driving on a plate that had been expired for 25 years?"

Angie and Eva moved to Chicago this week...just like that. Angie is a brave soul, always has been. I called Ev last night to see how the first day of school went. She said, "Well, it was good. I met new friends and started Chinese class." She'll be fine; that little girl intuits the positive side of everything.

I'm very disappointed in California's decision to make parents have teacher credentials to home school this week. Statistics show that the majority of home-schooled kids are well above the national average. That's because they are not distracted with silliness, "clicks", recess, the class clown or the child who cannot speak English. It should be up the parent, as long as the child performs well, how education is administered. The superb teachers of California should band together and form new, private schools; the State only wants money, hence the reason for the injunction. Sock it to the Man. Matt said, "Good idea!" I knew I would marry an attorney because I think like one. ; )~

I know my stepmom would love to personally choose her class each year!

Alas, Sam is crying. The fissure between having time to write and reality grows as quickly as he does. I'm off to homeschool him. He already knows how to spell his name; it's just getting him to say it that is the trick.

6 Months Old

Ah, my child. People ask if I miss the "tiny baby" stage. Uh, not really. He's in a great stage now. He's beginning to talk (constantly), and whenever he's upset, if you sing the alphabet all is well with the world. The apple doesn't fall far.

Last night I read him "Goldilocks" and "Jack & the Beanstalk." When we finished I said, "Well, Sam, they both committed felonies. Goldilocks: breaking and entering and destruction of private property; Jack: robbery and murder. We're not reading those stories anymore."

It is funny what pith and subtext we missed as children. Jack seemed heroic when I was a tot, but last night I realized that he's nothing but a criminal. That giant was minding his own business, his own money, his own golden hen and talking harp.

I finished by telling Sam that Jack is behind bars with his mom, and that we will never steal from anyone. ; )

Friendly

Sure, I'll take care of Eric, the best friend alive, whilst his girlfriend is on tour with the frickin' Eagles!

Damn, girl, go!

Welcome Lo Lo

My sister Lauren wrote me a letter on my wedding day that made me cry. Love her. This "kid" is 17-yrs-old, yet an old soul. She's the most thoughtful person our family ever produced. And she wants to be a writer; imagine that.

Nappy

Sam is definitely my son...he fell asleep holding his book with both hands. : )

Matt and I have had a great first week of marriage, sharing bronchitis.

But this time coughing and sneezing with him seems all together different. They're better coughs, better sneezes.

Life is so good.

Mr.and Mrs.

Matt and I got married yesterday in a private, small, albeit wonderful ceremony. I cried through the whole thing. It was so romantic and we both kept interupting the minister, saying to one another, "I love you...I love you too." We are so incredibly giddy today. : )

I knew I'd marry Matt the minute I first saw him. I think he knew 30 seconds after that.

I love being his wife!

A few expletives later...

I put Sam's high chair together. Now he has a high chair, a saucer ("the office" where he accomplishes important stuff), two bouncy seats, a pack-n-play, a swing and a Bumbo seat, most of them in our living room.

The house has taken on primary colors as its most prominent decor, and everything either lights up, plays music, moves, spins, shakes, turns or whistles.

It looks like Fisher Price threw up.

First Sniffles

My little fella has a cold and I've held him, snuggled on the couch in a blanket, for 2 days. I remember friends telling me about times their kids were sick, and they made it sound awful; but, strangely, I'm enjoying holding him, wiping his wee nose and rubbing his head. We simply stare at each other with no words or sounds, like two souls who were meant to be together.

Marriage License

Well, it's almost official...Matt and I got our marriage license yesterday! It was fun, and only cost $18. ; )~

We had to raise our right hand and swear that everything on our form was true, and that we'd love each other forever. How many people say that and don't think about what it really means? I meant it.

Of course, the women at the County Clerk's office were swooning over Matt. I arrived first (he's always late, bless his heart) and when he got there they all said, "This handsome man walking in has to be yours." I turned around and said, "Yep, that's him. I'm marrying him."

We celebrated the getting-of-the-marriage-license (we celebrate everything) at MacNiven's, where we met almost exactly 3 years ago. I followed Matt home in the snow storm, smiling all the way.

We're getting married next weekend and Jason & Beth are watching our little angel for us while we sneak off to the woods for a private ceremony; Sam, by the way cut a second tooth this week and began on solid baby food. I love watching each stage of his life, and he is simply adorable (and huge...20 lbs now). He just fell asleep while watching me type this. Mmmmm. Love him.

Matt and I watched the lunar eclipse form between the bare tree branches on another gray winter night this week. We held hands and I felt so blessed for having my little family.

Dexter

Last night Matt and I watched the TV show Dexter, which CBS picked up from Showtime due to the writer's strike. I had to check out the lead guy, Michael C. Hall, who Anne dates (Fun fact: he went to Earlham College in Richmond, IN). He is very adorable in a Matt Damon-way (not my type), but the show completely creeped me out. That makes 2 people, Dexter's boss on the show and me, who he creeps out.

I had nightmares all night and woke up twice thinking that I heard someone knocking on the front door, and someone who wasn't Sam breathing in the next room. I am too sensitive for horror. It also disturbs me, although Mr. Hall is a good actor, that shows about crime and serial killers are what America wants to watch. I just want to watch the Simpsons and old Everybody Loves Raymond episodes. Can't we all just not chop each other up?

Momentum

What a great week so far. Obama is leading Clinton and McCain (my feeling on both: snooze), and Sam's first tooth is coming in! He was chewing on my finger and I felt it. Heaven.

I watched the Primaries in excitement. Don't want to jinx it.

One of Obama's Harvard professors said that he was the most brilliant student he ever had.

I doubt President Bush ever made the honor role. Why spend money on education or poor people's health care when we can spend it on war?

There will always be the poor. There will always be poverty. Hell, several of them lived in my building downtown. Families raising kids in 800 square feet, going off to their menial jobs each day trying to earn...grocery money. They'll never get ahead; and why should honest, needy people suffer at the hands of those who "take advantage" of the system? Don't plenty of corporations take advantage of the system? Um, like drug companies, for instance!

There is no way to monitor who is deserving and who isn't. Just assume that everyone is deserving and let go. My college friend died of cancer because he was only 24, and couldn't "yet" afford health insurance. Did he deserve that?

I remember coming home one evening in high school, and my dad was crying. Worried, I asked him what was wrong; he hugged me and said, "Jill, there are so many people suffering in the world." That is the kind of passion I want to teach my son.

And "liberal" is just a 7-letter word meaning generous, after all. I wish I had more money to give.

My Canadian friends have it right. Would I wait in line to have surgery so a single mother could provide health care to her children and herself? You bet I would.

There is no perfect plan, but there is now hope for others.

The Quads: Sweet 17

As if I don't feel old enough with the constant dark circles under my eyes, fits of insomnia, a growing passion for the weather channel...the Quadruplets are turning 17 this Sunday!

Tonight I went shopping for gift cards for Ty, Nick and Lo Lo. Deb said, "They love BW3!" I drove to Broad Ripple -- easy enough, since we live in Broad Ripple -- and found Buffalo Wild Wings. "Shit," I thought (I really did think this) "Where is BW3?"

I drove to Castleton because I remembered seeing a "wings" place there. Again, Buffalo Wild Wings. I called Matt: Where in the hell is BW3? I can only find Buffalo Wild Wings!!

Matt said, "Jill (you idiot) that is BW3."

No it isn't.

Yes it is.

No.

Yes. Ok, go inside and ask them where BW3 is (*chuckling*).

Damn it.

For those of you who are also old, Buffalo Wild Wings is BW3. This is not a place where I eat. I called Matt back and said, "Grammatically, BW3 is inncorrect: ther are only 2 Ws."

He replied, "In tiny letters, it says "Wet and Wild Wings."

Being old, I couldn't read the small print.

Damn it all to hell.

Privacy Act

Well, many have asked why my blog is now private. I was steps away from receiving either a boiling rabbit, or a death threat cut out from individual magazine letters.

Is INtake now called Indy.com? They do realize that they are a newpaper and not a website, right? I'm so out of it.

Return of the Gloom

Sam and I returned to the "Blizzard of 2008": 2 inches of snow, a dead car battery, more gray days and a pile of laundry. Baby boy did so well on both flights (he and I both noticed other, bad, less-evolved babies crying around us). Sam gives that huge smile freely, and people were eating it up.

We had a nice, relaxing time. I sat by the pool and got some suntan lines, and I pulled a "Matt" several times in the morning, where I'd pretend not to hear Sam crying, allowing my mom to get up with him. I needed a break, and she gave me one. She cried when we left, and if Sam knew about sensitivity and emotions, he would have cried too. He and grandma are "tight."

Matt was in California, securing our place in the sun, but he and Sam talked daily. Sam knows "phone" and "Dada" and he was very happy to grunt and breathe for Matt.

Matt and I have rekindled this goo-goo-staring-into-one-another's-eye thing. It's hard to find time for romance and smooching, but it's getting easier. I said, "Now get me my ring!"

Fact is, I want an "estate" ring, that's completely unique. Odd, huh?

We're going to a dinner party tonight that includes the kids of 5 couples - should be relaxing and fun. ; )

I need the sunshine and palm trees of Florida...

Remember that TV ad from the '80s? "When you need it bad, we've got it good, come to Florida!"

....Taking Sam to Naples tomorrow. I'm both excited and nervous. I've often shot looks at women with babies screaming on planes, and now I'm potentially that woman. God will get his revenge.

I got my hair highlighted yesterday, and I had to feign ignorance when asked, "What in the world did your last colorist do to your hair?" I was way too embarrassed to admit that my mother was my last colorist (and equally embarrassed that I still refer to "colorists" as "hair dressers"), and that she talked me into letting her color my hair. Oh my God, disaster...it was orange in places. It's fixed now, and I just shrugged and said, "I have no idea what she did." heh heh heh.

I've packed 2 huge suitcases for Sam and me for 6 days. So very me.

So, now that crazies can't see, here are some family photos. : )

Correction

I love sentimental men. I emailed Matt "Happy three years of knowing me," and he replied, "Wasn't it yesterday?"

He's right. I'm a mom and I've lost my mind and its knack for remembering dates.

*sigh*

Three Years With Matt

We met three years ago today! My, but a lot has happened. : )

I made my blog private because of the "crazies." If you know someone who reads this, or would like to read it, send me their email address and I'll invite them.

We've decided to go to California wine country for our honeymoon instead of Mexico; I can't be away from Samuel for that long. We're going in April because we'll be in Cali for Matt's friend's wedding, anyway. California wine country is more my bag. Yeeeeah.

Sam is 18 pounds and is breaking my arms and back. Kids are for the young. I never hear about Eric's sister complaining about her back, and she has a big boy too. She's young. I hate her (just kidding). I feel the full depth of age lately, but I'm getting my hair highlighted today so all is right with the world.

Ta ta...

Music Choice

Favorite song today: Amy Correia, California

Favorite Baby: Always Sam

Man Bank

As a kid, everyone had piggy banks; I had this. My mom owned a children's clothing store and she brought this home for me on what I considered a sullen afternoon, saying, "Some day you'll appreciate it." I always kept it in the back of my closet because I was embarrassed to have a weird man-head as a bank. Now I love it. You'll not find him on E-bay. ; )

Coffee Shopper

Sam entertained the masses at my dad's house last night while Matt and I snuggled at our favorite winter bar, the Wellington, for a bit. It's nice to get a break, although we always end up talking about Sam and all of his wonders. He really enjoys being up at my dad's because there's a lot more chaos than we can produce.

Matt's cousin Maggie is our new "sitter" and she's home with the rugrat right now while I freelance at a coffee shop. I can make a lot more hourly than we pay for babysitting, so it's time for me to get out once in a while and work. This freelance life just may work!

After several years of hording, I discovered yesterday that I have almost 100,000 airline miles collected on my credit card (yikes - isn't that a mile per dollar??). One word to Matt: Italy. I'll buy!

Matt asked me last night if I'd like to move to Dubai for a year. I said, "Let me think about it. No." I'm afraid I wouldn't feel safe with a baby in a Middle Eastern city. Plus, the money there is mostly from Russian mafia and the like, and I know I'd mouth-off to someone with whom I disagreed and get imprisoned for life; then Sam would be forced to let a stranger hold him 18 hours a day and make his bottles. No way.

Anyhoo, time to work.

Hi Alex - I'll call you soon. Thanks for reading.

Dinner Late Again

Matt is grilling something called "Beer Butt Chicken." You don't want to know. I kid you not, we're regressing. White trash cooking - gotta love it.

I chatted with my friend tonight who's trying to decide his next world trip. I said, "Well, I'm feeding Sam and watching Ghost Busters on VH1, so it all sounds good to me. A good moment for me is when Sam burps, and a good day is 2 dirty diapers."

He laughed and said, "I hear it's temporary."

Yes it is, and it's all great anyway you slice it (except dirty diapers, which we just fold and discard).

Oh, bama

Last Friday Sullivan's, this Friday pizza ... and Susy & Andrew's company. Yea guests!

Not only do Matt and I (and now Sam) look alike, but now we have matching phones. Matt brought home 2 new HTC "Touch" last night, Germany's version of the iPhone. It's very super cool and I must learn to use this weekend!

Naples very soon. Mexican honeymoon in February. California April. The travelin' life's for me.

Hillary looks like a fish under a magnifying glass. I told Sam to watch out for women who vote only because the candidate is a woman. A rich, political-grubbing, man-eating, fish-under-a-magnifying-glass whose only real emotion is anger. Hold tight Obama.

January is a month made of granite, ice and darkness. February's not much better, though by March I feel the sun rising and living things awakening again.

Go Barack!!

Go Go Go Go Go! Win New Hampshire! We're cheering.

Juno

I ventured outside the family unit today. I went to see Juno at Keystone Arts, ordered a diet Coke and found a seat by myself. I had never been to a movie alone: it was fantastic. I found a two-seater and sat on the outside. When late-comers arrived in pairs, I could honestly shrug and say, "Sorry, only one seat here." Awesome!

Juno was not only the best movie I've seen in a long time, but the only movie I've seen in a long time. I bawled (quietly, secretly, the lonesome dove), and I missed Sam and Matt. Honestly, the prospect of giving a child up for adoption had me so slippery sentimental that I almost couldn't make it through the second reel (hint: when watching a movie, look for the black dot to appear in the right corner screen; this means that it's time to change the reel).

I've read a lot about the author of the movie, a former stripper. She seems pretty flawless to me. The little girl in the movie, Ellen something-or-other, deserves an Oscar.

Soundtrack was cheerful; a little immature, but they did slip one Belle & Sebastian in there (band from Glasgow that I love).

Anyway, Matt said, "Take as much time as you like."

I raced home after the movie.

Wish I Was A Sylvia Plath

I bought Matt a chef's hat for Christmas with his name embroidered on it. He needs to quit law and open a restaurant. Law sucks the marrow from the soul. He made brussel sprouts for me tonight - the best ever (my fave, I'm quite strange, this much I know).

We listened to Ryan Adams, who Sam loves (the song Sylvia Plath...a favorite for you fellow iTunes junkies: buy it!). Ryan has many masterpieces.

Matt is giving me the entire day off tomorrow. Huh? What?! I'm going to see the movie Juno, probably followed by a quick trip to Target and an hour or so immersed in literature. All will be done alone, which doesn't happen much anymore (but the trade off is so worth it).

One of the best things about having a baby is reconnecting with people from my past. I have great friends. Gord S, especially, sends me the most positive insight on parenthood; I can feel that guy's smile stretched across my computer screen. Everyone is so kind telling me that I'm a good mom, which feels good after a long day of holding my 15-pounder. Whew, he's a biggie.

Shari P. stopped by today and met Sam. She's a waif herself, and after holding him for a few minutes, she interupted me, saying, "This kid is so freakin' heavy." Funny.

Creativing writing is striking; goodnight.

Sam's Growth Chart from Aunt Angie

Click photo, make bigger (I'm beginning to speak like Elmo).