Work, no sleep and a big smile

There's something in the water around our neighborhood because everyone seems to be inexplicably happy these days. I know I am. I love life so much that I feel a little guilty for loving life so much. Shouldn't I be hating the world along with everyone else? Oh wait, that's only "as seen on Fox News."

It's the fact that I'm working. I'm working a lot right now and that makes me extremely happy. Sure, I tell Matt and Sam to "get out of here - give me some peace for the love of God" now and again, but that's my perfectionist calling card, not unhappiness.

Matt's been very supportive, and when he lets down his guard I think I even see a shimmer of pride on his face. : )

Sam, well, Sam is the greatest kid on earth. I sometimes wait for a specific measurement, some conclusive allotment that will be filled and I'll be content to love him on that level without possibly loving him more...and then he smiles, or laughs, or farts on me and I love him even more.

I made up this little song, Sam and Mommy Are Best Friends, when he was wee, and he still sings it to me occasionally. He's just the coolest little guy and I am so grateful and extremely blessed. Matt and I ask him all the time, "Do you even know how much we love you?" and Sam smiles, puts his hands as high as they'll go, and says, "This much, right?"

But, the kid still sleeps with us. He always begins just fine in his you've-got-to-be-kidding-me comfortable bed, but around 2 or 3, sometimes 4, he comes into our room. My eyes fly open like broken spring window shades, and I'm up the rest of the night. Last night, Matt slept in Sam's room because he was sick, so Sam and I watched Batman Forever in my bed until way past his bedtime. He fell asleep in 14 seconds, but then his snoring began. I turned our fan to level two, suffered for at least another hour, and then turned on a humidifier, as well. The bedroom sounded like a vortex into which we were about to be sucked, so I finally surrendered to half of an Ambien.

Snoring that trumps insomnia is never good news. Tired, bags under my eyes, I made him a quiche for breakfast and kissed him multiple (hundreds) of times throughout the day.

Matt dropped me at the Cheese Shop today while he waited in the car with Sleeping Boy. I bought a sliver of goose liver paté (where my PETA membership from college hits a snag), a bigger sliver of Stilton cheese, and of course, our favorite, Fol Epi (mais oui!). Sam and I made our first batch of cake balls today. It's the new thing, or maybe it's the old thing - I wouldn't know. They are not very pretty, but we did it together, like we do most everything. Now he's cooking dinner with his dad in the kitchen.

What can I say, it's love.