It's that day again, that calendar date that says, "Let's try this again..." The day when people budget for their new gym membership, only to quit by mid-February.
As Sam gets older, creeping into ownership of his own thoughts and actions, I'm trying to decide what I want to do with ME, for ME, next. For someone who was once told, "You're independent to a fault!" I can say that motherhood and marriage have had their challenges. Not because I don't love them, but because I feel that I've given up my identity and dreams in order to make sure lunch is on the table each day for Sam, piping hot and nutritious. It gets tedious.
I was thinking last night, as I was dancing to the band at the Doherty's party, how I've probably seen over 700 live shows in my lifetime. At least. I was dreaming about the day soon when I'll buy a last-minute ticket to Paris, or fly out to see my favorite band play the Fillmore in SF. When I can be a little more like the old Jill, resting assured that Matt and Sam are waiting for me back at the ranch. That is what a good marriage and a good life are all about: having time to be yourself along the way. I'm very lucky to have the support system that I do, a husband who says, "You're great at everything you do - go do it!"
And as for New Year's Resolutions: we are buying a treadmill for the house! God, we're so suburban.
We just returned from sunny, best weather in the country, SoCal. We missed the snow here, missed the bitter edge, hung out on the beach watching Matt surf on his new board. He's amazing...ahh. Sam got his first taste of whale watching off of Balboa Island...he's quite the natural seafarer.